I Got Jokes Offers

I Got Jokes News & Commentary from Twitter

@Luv_Mikko hahahaha so u got jokes...you tha one that prolly wants Popeye to stick his forearm in ya...lol I'm just gettin off work tho
[1 hour ago / BenjaminButta (Tee)]

@TRELYONS1906 oooohhhh!! You got jokes!!! I see we gonna have to have a cook off!!
[1 hour ago / Get_Kristi_Love (Kristi Piere)]

RT @JGaines5 save jokes why!?! I got PLENTY in the chamber! And wait til @twezzytwan logs on!- 4 on @2fresh2flyENT that sounds about right!
[1 hour ago / 2fresh2flyENT (mike barnes)]

@MsLVbaby Lmfao. You got jokes today huh? I never had no homo aspirations. Lol
[1 hour ago / rudeboii515 (Rudden Lewin)]

@2fresh2flyENT save jokes why!?! I got PLENTY in the chamber! And wait til @twezzytwan logs on! #MURDER
[1 hour ago / JGaines5 (Jae.G)]

Lol @five9walker and @SwagLisa y'all got jokes but I got y'all lol. Imma be glad to. I miss #MyPreciousJoy my (cont) http://tl.gd/2rqnt4
[1 hour ago / FADE_AXtion (Sascha Mallicott)]

#shoutout to @Exquisite_Britt I got a hundred jokes for her tonite..oh and @CocoaW LMAO
[1 hour ago / chickdaflyest (chick da flyest)]

@MrSeanFamous I Got Jokes and comebacks for days lol
[1 hour ago / Raveneo (Jesus Duarte)]

@peachescapree oh see you got me confused i never get mad off of shit like that, ive been talked about my whole life lmfao its all jokes.
[1 hour ago / swallowMEbitch (mothafuckin NU.)]

@iBisexualPiNKY oh sooo u got jokes now? hahaha & i aint goin outside cuz i got 100 m-bites 4rm ystrday :(
[1 hour ago / itsDejaCuhh (Its Dejaaaa)]

@Dani23Marie niggas got jokes I see lol
[1 hour ago / iM_DeLiRioUS (JackRabbit Slim)]

I Got Jokes Related News brought to you by BBC News

England v Pakistan - 1st Test day three as it happened - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:20:09 GMT


England are on course for a resounding win in the first Test after an unbeaten century from Matt Prior and three early wickets in Pakistan's second innings.

European Championships day five as it happened - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:01:56 GMT


Britain's Jessica Ennis becomes European heptathlon champion, Mo Farah makes it a long-distance double and Dai Greene wins 400m hurdles gold in Barcelona.

Rabotnicki v Liverpool as it happened - Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:48:36 GMT


Two goals for David Ngog give Liverpool a 2-0 Europa League third qualifying round first leg victory over Rabotnicki in Skopje.

Keane eager to plug Ipswich gaps - Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:37:13 GMT


Ipswich boss Roy Keane says he will strive to replace the three players who look set to leave Portman Road.

England v Pakistan - 1st Test day one as it happened - Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:14:35 GMT


Eoin Morgan makes 125 not out, his maiden Test century, as England reach 331-4 after day one of the first Test against Pakistan.

Striker Platt signs Coventry deal - Thu, 29 Jul 2010 06:08:43 GMT


Coventry City sign striker Clive Platt from Colchester for a nominal fee on a one-year contract.

Sprinter Smyth misses final place - Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:16:30 GMT


Double gold-winning Paralympian Jason Smyth is fourth in his 100 metres semi-finals at the European Championships in Barcelona.

Wenger ends Fabregas speculation - Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:32:21 GMT


Manager Arsene Wenger seeks to definitively reinforce Arsenal's stance that captain Cesc Fabregas will not be leaving the club this summer.

European Championships day one as it happened - Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:39:21 GMT


Britain's Mo Farah wins 10,000m gold and Chris Thompson takes silver while Dwain Chambers, Jenny Meadows and Phillips Idowu progress at the European Championships in Barcelona.

Smyth handed difficult 100m heat - Tue, 27 Jul 2010 08:57:15 GMT


Double gold-winning Paralympian Jason Smyth has a tough heat in the 100 metres at the European Championships in Barcelona.

Discovering the source of the lightning Bolt - Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:07:32 GMT


BBC World Olympic Dreams travels to Usain Bolt's village to meet his parents and friends.

Borlées aim to make 2012 a family outing - Mon, 26 Jul 2010 08:55:28 GMT


Belgium's fast family - Jonathan, Kevin and Olivia Borlée - are going flat out to make the starting line at the London Olympics.

The ups and downs of mountain biking - Mon, 26 Jul 2010 08:48:43 GMT


The BBC joins French cross-country mountain biker Julien Absalon as he prepares for a World Cup event.

Monday's gossip column - Sun, 25 Jul 2010 21:43:06 GMT


West Brom target Eric Djemba-Djemba, plus other rumours

Bedford wait on one more signing - Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:47:17 GMT


Bedford Blues are close to completing their summer business with the addition of one more player, says director of rugby Mike Rayer.

Dunne mocks French World Cup exit - Fri, 23 Jul 2010 06:40:19 GMT


Republic of Ireland defender Richard Dunne jokes at the manner of France's shambolic World Cup exit on the back of last year's handball incident by Thierry Henry in the play-offs.

Henry scores past Spurs on debut - Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:19:29 GMT


Former Arsenal striker Thierry Henry scores against old foes Tottenham but finishes on the losing side on his debut for New York Red Bulls.

Farbrace salutes Murali milestone - Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:04:22 GMT


Former Sri Lanka assistant coach Paul Farbrace pays tribute to Muttiah Muralitharan's "magnificent" milestone of 800 Test wickets.

The Full Story: PM's questions - Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:47:09 GMT


All the action and reaction as Nick Clegg stood in for David Cameron - and William Hague's statement to MPs on Afghanistan.

The wisdom of Socrates - Wed, 21 Jul 2010 07:07:33 GMT


Brazil football legend on the World Cup, Olympics and lessons of life

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World news headlines from BBC News



Pakistan floods 'kill 800' people - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 19:16:08 +0000

The worst monsoon floods in living memory kill at least 800 people and affect one million in north-west Pakistan, a local official says.

Germany mourns Love Parade dead - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:55:51 +0000

Germany holds an emotional memorial service for the 21 people killed in a stampede at the Love Parade dance festival in the western city of Duisburg last weekend.

Russia mobilises as fires burn on - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:33:10 +0000

Almost 240,000 people have been mobilised across Russia to tackle wildfires that have killed at least 30 people, officials say.

Chelsea Clinton to marry banker - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 21:30:54 +0000

The only child of former US President Bill Clinton, Chelsea, is due to marry in a ceremony cloaked in secrecy.

Opposition figures held in Moscow - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 19:20:37 +0000

Russian police detain two opposition leaders and dozens of others trying to hold demonstrations in Moscow and St Petersburg.

Bogota denies Venezuela war plan - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 19:21:16 +0000

The Colombian government denies accusations by Caracas it is planning a military attack on Venezuela, following claims by President Hugo Chavez that his Colombian counterpart, Alvaro Uribe, was "capable of anything".

Kidnapped Mexico cameramen free - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 21:36:50 +0000

Police in Mexico say they have freed two of the four journalists kidnapped in Durango last Monday.

Hamas fighter dies in air strikes - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 11:37:40 +0000

A Hamas militant is killed and several people hurt in Israeli air strikes on the Gaza Strip, hours after a Palestinian rocket hit the Israeli city of Ashkelon.

More civilian deaths in Kashmir - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:24:25 +0000

At least two people are killed in Indian-administered Kashmir in a second deadly day of protests against Indian rule.

Everglades on Unesco danger list - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:00:11 +0000

A UN panel adds the Florida Everglades and Madagascar's tropical rainforest to a list of world heritage sites at risk.

Fossil sparks whale of a row for Egypt customs - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:53:41 +0000

The fossil of a whale is at the centre of a bizarre customs wrangle at Cairo airport, the BBC's Jon Leyne reports.

Malaysia TV's 'imam idol' crowned - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:59:23 +0000

A 26-year-old religious scholar wins Malaysian TV talent search for the best young imam, or Muslim leader.

US economic growth slows to 2.4% - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:48:09 +0000

US economic growth slowed between April and June, with GDP growing by an annualised rate of 2.4%, the US Commerce Department says.

Crew's new Atlantic rowing record - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:32:41 +0000

Four rowers reach the Isles of Scilly 43 days after leaving New York, smashing 12 days off the 114-year-old previous record.

Farc call to new Colombian leader - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 21:05:26 +0000

Colombia's Farc rebel group issues a call for dialogue with the new government after Juan Manuel Santos's election as president.

Argentine gay weddings go ahead - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:55:40 +0000

A gay couple become the first to marry in Argentina under a new law allowing same-sex unions.

Three charged with Uganda bombing - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 16:13:11 +0000

Three Kenyans are charged with the murders of 76 people killed when bombs exploded as they watched the World Cup on TV in Kampala, Uganda.

Four fined over SA 'racist video' - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 11:30:26 +0000

Four white South Africans are fined $2,700 (£1,700) each after making a video humiliating black university workers.

Change call after Australia fires - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:26:43 +0000

A report into Australia's worst bushfires, in 2009, recommends sweeping changes to the way the government responds to natural disasters.

China mine explosion 'kills 15' - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:48:01 +0000

At least 15 people die at a mine in northern China, as a suspected explosives store blows up.

Greek military told to move fuel - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:39:58 +0000

Greece will use military vehicles to restore fuel supplies cut by a lorry drivers' strike, the government says.

Sarkozy threat on police attacks - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:28:41 +0000

President Nicolas Sarkozy says he would like to strip French nationality from anyone of foreign origin who threatened the life of a police officer.

Lebanon urged to resist violence - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:39:20 +0000

Syria's president and the Saudi king call on Lebanon's rival factions to avoid turning to violence amid mounting political tensions in the country.

Saudi warned on expelling Somalis - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:50:34 +0000

The UN refugee agency urges Saudi Arabia to stop deporting Somalis, saying 2,000 have recently been sent to Mogadishu.

Pakistan crash 'black box' found - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:48:28 +0000

Investigators scouring the wreckage of Pakistan's worst-ever air disaster have found the plane's flight data recorder, officials say.

Pakistan plays down Cameron row - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:29:57 +0000

Pakistan says it expects "fruitful" talks between its president and David Cameron despite a row over comments about its alleged links to terror.

UK troops 'uncover bomb factory' - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:13:53 +0000

British troops targeting a Taliban stronghold in southern Afghanistan have found a cache of bomb-making equipment, the Ministry of Defence says.

Ennis crowned European champion - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 19:04:31 +0000

Great Britain's Jessica Ennis wins European heptathlon gold after dominating the 800m finale to fend off her closest rival Nataliya Dobrynska.

Northwest agrees to pay $38m fine - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:45:44 +0000

Northwest Airlines will plead guilty and pay a $38m fine for fixing air-cargo prices, the US justice department says.

Airbus firm EADS lifts output aim - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:31:18 +0000

Airbus parent firm EADS says it is confident about future orders, despite reporting a fall in second-quarter earnings.

BP boss scaling back oil effort - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:07:23 +0000

The incoming BP chief executive has said it is time to scale back some parts of the oil spill clean-up in the Gulf of Mexico.

Prior guides England towards win - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:53:22 +0000

England are on course for a resounding win in the first Test after an unbeaten century from Matt Prior and three early wickets in Pakistan's second innings.

Flying Vettel takes Hungary pole - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 13:10:39 +0000

Red Bull dominate qualifying for the Hungarian GP, with Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber on the front row ahead of the Ferraris.

No third Milan stint for Beckham - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 19:19:50 +0000

LA Galaxy midfielder David Beckham will not return to AC Milan for a third time, coach Massimo Allegri says.

DeGeneres leaving American Idol - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 08:13:38 +0000

Comedienne and chat show host Ellen DeGeneres is leaving American Idol after one season on the judging panel.

Disney sells Miramax film studios - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:16:58 +0000

Walt Disney announces the sale of its Miramax film division for about $660m to a group of private equity investors.

Awards double for Valentine band - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:43:08 +0000

Welsh rock band Bullet For My Valentine scoop two prizes at this year's Kerrang! Awards, including best British group for the third year running.

North-west Pakistan 'a massive lake' - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:18:37 +0000

Lyse Doucet has travelled to north-west Pakistan, where the worst monsoon floods in living memory have killed at least 800 people and affected one million more.

Silent march for Love Parade dead - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:37:28 +0000

A silent march and mass balloon release has taken place in Duisberg to honour 21 people who died at last weekend's Love Parade dance festival

Australia bushfires: What went wrong? - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:03:39 +0000

A report into the bushfires that tore across Victoria, Australia, in early 2009 has called for sweeping changes to the way the authorities respond to natural disasters.

Excitement ahead of Clinton wedding - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:21:03 +0000

Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of former US president Bill Clinton, is to marry long-term boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky at a private ceremony.

Giant hailstone breaks US record - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 13:10:21 +0000

A hailstone weighing almost a kilo that fell in the state of South Dakota has been confirmed as the largest ever recovered in the USA.

California fire threatens power lines - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:42:53 +0000

A wildfire burning in southern California has grown to more than 20 square miles and is threatening power lines that supply electricity to millions of people.

Argentina celebrates first gay weddings - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:40:59 +0000

The first gay weddings have taken place in Argentina after the implementation of a law approved by parliament earlier this month.

Mexico makes giant sandwich - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 03:11:40 +0000

Workers from Mexico City restsurants make a 48m-long sandwich in what has become an annual event.

One-minute World News - Fri, 9 Jul 2010 07:56:06 +0000

Watch the latest news summary from BBC World News. International news updated 24 hours a day.

Wedding belle - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:09:06 +0000

Why Chelsea continues to fascinate

Beyond Auschwitz - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:24:39 +0000

Polish town's struggle to emerge from shadow of Nazi horror

Crime challenge - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:38:43 +0000

Urban violence a test for Colombia's next leader

Scratching the surface - Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:42:22 +0000

Why so few people get under the skin of Afghanistan

School-time blues - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:19:02 +0000

Blind musician inspired by Sierra Leone children

Changing times - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 23:50:59 +0000

An unprecedented trip to Lebanon by Syrian and Saudi leaders

On the run - Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:34:30 +0000

Why northern Cyprus is no longer a haven for fugitives

Hero's welcome? - Fri, 9 Jul 2010 19:07:42 +0000

Russia's returning spies will find it difficult to adjust

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